In Part One of Setting Your Goals For the New Year and Throughout the Year we talked about how and why you need to set your goals at increments throughout the year and how to set high quality goals you can achieve.
Now let’s get into the nuts and bolts of doing this in a simple way that anyone can follow.
How you make your overall goal is through step goals. Think of step goals as progressions, mini-steps that you take that will lead you towards achieving your overall goal. These step goals are goals you feel you can achieve in a short or medium amount of time and will enable you to get closer to your overall goal by teaching you something, by making you good at something, or by allowing you to pass through certain benchmarks.
An example of this would be learning how to touch men when you first meet them in a way they like so you can progress into kissing. You can do it by an incidental touch, by holding onto their arm, or just by sitting close to them and looking at them a certain way.
Another example would be to learn how to initiate a conversation with someone new, hold his attention for more than three minutes, create curiosity and get him to ask you for your phone number to meet her for a second date. Step goals are goals that you set for yourself, that you make a point to achieve and can be as broken down and process oriented as needed.
Now, when you set goals, it is very important to set a schedule (time) for yourself, particularly for step goals. This will motivate you to do them and not give up, and it will feel really good each time you cross an item off your list. You need to set a specific time frame for all your goals, and you need to keep track of how you are doing with your goals (I make a weekly list of things I need to do to help me monitor).
Don’t make the goal too long, for example, for ten years, so you can be lazy about it, and conversely, don’t make them so short, like two weeks, making it next to impossible to achieve. Be realistic when setting your specific time constraints and stick to them.
Meeting men is not an easy skill to learn and the game is emotionally tough to play. If you don’t have goals, it’s too easy to get lost and give up.
Beware of the dangers that prevent you from reaching your goals. It’s ok to not achieve them in the time you want, as long as you don’t give up. The danger is in giving up and being lazy about it. Procrastination is your enemy. We all do it, but really shouldn’t.
Another danger is in your attitude towards yourself and to your desire and conviction to get parts of your life handled. A negative attitude and non-belief is the death of your success – they make achieving your goals so much harder. So if you want to have multiple male friends, but you are still hurt and bitter inside and take it out on other people…perhaps you should think about setting a goal to help yourself first before jumping too far ahead of yourself.
It’s tough to sometimes step outside of yourself and see how you are doing, that is why there is value to getting attraction coaching or lifestyle coaching to help you meet your goals. Alternatively, if you have a friend you really trust and know that he has taken care of where he wants to go in his life, then ask for his honest feedback about you and be prepared for the answer.
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